I counted at least eight enquiries about little ones and about three baffled looks as to why we are not settling in Adelaide after our American adventure. Some people prefer to set their roots deep in a place and call it their home, while others choose to roam. Each truly has its merits so please don’t judge on what we have chosen to do.
[Blending into the Sandgate scene, gorging on a seafood basket, January 2012]
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Hi Jem,
Naiintindihan kita. At alam ko kung ano ang sinasabi mo.
Dahil ako man ay natanong ng maraming beses. At nasaktan sa ilang pagkakataon. Ngunit hindi ako natinag, dahil alam ko kung saan ang pinag-uusbungan ng aking kaligayahan at kapayapaan.
Pinili man o hindi – ang kawalan ng anak ay hindi kailangang kakulangan. Hindi ito mas mababang estado. Hindi ito kawalang – palad. Hindi ito kakulangan ng pagmamahal ng Diyos.
Childlessness is not a state of less blessedness. Singleness is not a state of less blessedness. I know the source of my joy. And when God says He is enough. Then He is enough. Even for the childless (or the unmarried, or the fatherless, or the motherless for that matter).
It took me some time to think this comment over before finally writing it. It is something I could very much relate to and feel strongly about. I know many other childless couples, and some of them probably undergo through a lot more pain when people become insensitive or judgmental. I have learned to respond (with grace, I hope) and I am thankful that there’s less people now that give me long lectures about ticking biological clocks. I wish I could give them a lecture too, that for some couples, having a child is not like picking a fruit from a tree. There is a context that prompts a couple to decide not to have children. For some couples, being childless is probably not even a choice. They should have that in mind, every time they blurt out a mindless comment of “Oh, wala pa rin kayong anak? Ang hina niyo naman!”.
Wherever you are now and whatever circumstance you are in, I pray that God would bless you abundantly according to His plans. May you be obedient in His leading.
Eleonor
The stork cops it in my last “excuse”. We keep moving so the poor bird can’t find us and deliver our parcel! But seriously… Thanks for a gentle and thought-out response, people often throw tact out the window when they ask, in the way they ask. Sometimes I wrestle with the idea too that children are God’s blessings. Yes, I agree to a point but people imply the opposite then if you don’t have kids. PS Bracing for the barrage of questions and “paniningil” when we are over (there).